God is so good!

Last summer we started out with a bang! Actually, it was a couple of bangs. Many of you remember Mikala and my children were in a car accident last June. At that time I expected that I knew all the occupants of the vehicle Mikala was driving. Over that next couple of months we found ourselves celebrating Mikala's third pregnancy!


This was met with great rejoicing that soon turned to questions as to the well being of this child that had been trhough the accident and we now knew to be in the womb of my bride. Rejoicing turned to fear and anxiety levels continually were elevated as we wondered how this would turn out. Because of our travel schedule in the summers we were unable get to the doctor as quickly as we would like so we spent time worrying until it was obvious we were in sin with our anxiety and then would turn those worries over to the completely capable hands of our Lord. The more we gave Him, the more we wanted to give Him! He has been such a faithful companion. Now as we have been to the doctor a couple of times and heard the precious little heartbeat it seems that all our anxiety was energy completely misplaced.

I wish that were the end of what God has been teaching me through this. The truth is that is just phase one of the lesson. Phase two came in the form of a spiritual questions from God to me, "Do you believe that the 'anxiety was energy completely misplaced' because you feel like you got what you wanted or was it because I am enough; . . . even if you don't get what you want?" WOW! How intensely personal! Do I have to answer that honestly? It is here that I find myself handing over even more of my concerns. Concerns like my dreams and aspirations for this child, my expectations and definitions of what is and isn't considered healthy in a child, my thoughts on how much energy I think it will involve to raise another child. All of these thoughts are based on my own assumptions not necessarily God's plan for my life or my family's life. So today I let go of all I know how to let go of. I'm sure God will show me more as a walk with Him. What I know is that He does life better than I do. He holds things more firmly than I ever can and He loves more thoroughly than I can imagine. I would rather my family be in His hands than mine. I am just honored that He holds me and helps me point them to Him.

Today Lord help me trust you to do your will in my life rather than trust you to do my own will in this life. Help me trust that you are better and your will is better even when it might conflict with me and my own agenda. In light of our celebration of this child you have blessed us with I pray that this child will always be dedicated to you and your will. Prepare me to be the Father I need to be to play the role you require of me as I usher this blessing through their young life.