So I haven’t written yet this week because I usually try to keep things positive and this has not been a great week. What dominates my thoughts today is a series of questions. What does God teach us through our struggles? Could I learn the lessons another way? If I learn the lessons quickly will the struggles go away?
I so badly want to have the right attitude and the proper response, but it seems like when the tough times come I get so frustrated that I just want to cry out. What am I supposed to learn? Like a child that cares nothing of the actual lessons and only wants to go back to what they were doing before they got in trouble I find myself asking what should I get from this. I want to know what I should learn not because I want to grow but so I can go back to whatever I was doing before. I have my agenda and don’t really want to be bothered. I have my will for what should happen and I know my motives and am really somewhat frustrated that anything has the audacity to stand in the way.
As I confess the defiance from my soul I hear, as I am sure you did the source of my struggles. Could it be that there is a will superior to my own? Could it be that there is an agenda for my life that takes precedence over my own agenda?
Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Father, thank you that your agenda trumps my plans. Help me find myself more and more submissive to you and your will.
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